qualities of a true friend

7 Rare Qualities of a True Friend

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 Do you ever wonder who is A True Friend? So many times we are going through things in our lives, but we can cope on our own. Something we can handle alone but we a shoulder to cry on. 

It doesn’t make sense we hold on to the past and things that we have done. We need to get over regrets. We also need to let out anything that affects you. Keeping it up will only hurt you.

We need a true friend who will be there for you. A confidant is someone who has your back.

What characterizes a good confidant, below I go through attributes that a true confidant should have.

1. A True Friend Should Be An Active Listener

A good confidant is someone who not only listens but someone who makes you feel heard.

They pay full attention when you are sharing your feelings and show that they are listening with eye contact, nodding, affirmative words, and affection.

An active listener doesn’t need to offer advice (unless it’s asked for) or switch the conversation to their own problems. They are just fully present for you and willing to validate the pain or discomfort you are feeling. They are in the conversation with full attention.

2. A True Friend Should Be An Patient

Most life challenges take some time to sort through. When you have strong emotions, it can take hours or days just to settle your feelings to really address the problem.

You need a confidant who is patient with you, even if you get stuck or angry. Sometimes you just need them to sit with you and listen as you vent the depths of your misery or frustration.

It’s not always easy for a support person to patiently listen without offering solutions or telling you to “just get over it.” But this patience pays off because it gives you the space you need to process your feelings and figure out your next steps at a pace that is right for you.

3. A True Friend Should Be Empathetic

The best kind of confidant person not only sympathizes with what you’re going through but also feels what you are feeling. They empathize with your confusion, pain, or self-doubt, and they want you to know how much they understand you.

They have walked the walk and can share some of the burdens of your feelings because they have experienced something similar themselves.

An empathetic listener allows you to feel less alone with your challenge and helps you realize that you will survive this challenge and move past it.

4. A True Friend Should Be Strong

When you are going through a difficult time, you don’t need someone who will fall apart, get agitated, or behave dramatically.

You’re already feeling highly emotional or even ready to fall apart yourself. You need a steady hand and a calm mood to keep you grounded and rational so you can think more easily about solutions to your situation.

The best support person is the one who can remain unperturbed and focused to help you take the best actions.

5. A True Friend Should Be An Confidential

The last thing you need when you’re going through a challenge is someone who gossips about you or betrays your confidence.

You want a support person who treats your pain or difficulty with dignity and respect. They are capable of keeping their mouths shut, even when it’s tempting to share a juicy piece of information or unburden themselves of your problem.

They have the integrity to honor your personal information by keeping it to themselves, even when you haven’t specifically asked them too.

6. A True Friend Should Be Genuine

A caring support person is someone true to themselves, who doesn’t put on an act or try to play a role that feels false.

They can be vulnerable and open about their own challenges, emotions, and fears, making you feel more connected to them.

Authenticity is hard to quantify, but you know it when you see it. The person is open, straightforward, and without guise or pretence.

7. A True Friend Should Be Self-Aware

A big part of authenticity is self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to have introspection and to examine your own motives, desires, flaws, and responses.

A self-aware person has a better capacity to understand and empathize with others because they have delved in the depths of their own inner world.

They have a more intricate and complex perspective of the human condition and can, therefore, understand and relate to ambiguities, complicated emotions, and difficult decisions.

It’s difficult to share something deeply personal, perhaps something that causes you guilt, shame, or regret, if you fear the listener will judge you harshly.

You need a support person who can listen and show empathy without casting blame, acting superior, or passively making you feel bad about yourself or the situation.

The best confidant is someone who recognizes the “humanity” in all of us — who has made mistakes themselves and understands the deep need to be loved and accepted in spite of our flaws.

8. A True Confidant Should Be Optimistic

When we’re going through a challenge, we all want to feel hope. We want to believe that things will work out for the best and that something positive will emerge from the difficulty we’re experiencing.

Having someone in your corner that sees the glass half full and who has the clarity to recognize that “this too shall pass” will give you the strength and courage to keep going.

A happy, positive person (who isn’t offering false cheerfulness or unrealistic outcomes) will buoy you as you work toward solutions and heal from your pain.

If you are going through a life challenge and need someone to talk to, don’t go through it alone. Look around at your family and friends; see which of them have most of the qualities listed above?

Not every friend is going to be your confidant, but that friend that you choose must have these attributes.

Reach out to this person and ask if they are willing to provide a listening ear to help you cope with your challenge.

If they are empathetic and caring, they will likely be flattered that you reached out to them.

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