getting over regret

Getting over regret in 4 easy ways: How to Overcome Regret of Past Mistakes

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Getting over regret in 4 easy ways is a universal human experience, a nagging feeling that can weigh heavily on our minds and hearts.

It’s that persistent “what if” or “if only” that can haunt us, reminding us of missed opportunities, wrong turns, or hurtful actions.

While regret is a natural part of life, allowing it to consume us can hinder our personal growth and happiness.

Regret can manifest as a heavy burden, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame. It can also trigger or exacerbate mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

However, understanding the psychology of regret and learning effective coping mechanisms can empower us to overcome its grip and move forward.

By acknowledging our past mistakes, forgiving ourselves, and embracing the lessons learned, we can transform regret into a catalyst for positive change and personal development.

This blog post helps you with the best ways of getting over regret and move on to a better future.

The Psychology of Regret

There are two main types of regret:

  1. Action regret: This occurs when we take action and later wish we hadn’t. Common examples include impulsive purchases, saying something hurtful, or taking a job that turned out to be a bad fit.
  2. Inaction regret: This arises when we fail to act and later wish we had. Missed opportunities, unpursued dreams, or unexpressed feelings can all lead to inaction regret.

Regret is a mix of thoughts and feelings. We think about what could have been, often imagining a better outcome than what actually happened. This can lead to negative emotions like guilt or sadness.

The fear of feeling this regret in the future can make us hesitate to make decisions or take risks. But understanding how regret works is the key to overcoming it and making better choices.

Why Are Regrets Harmful?

Dwelling on regrets can create a toxic cycle of negative emotions and mental distress.

It fuels feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame, eroding our self-esteem and confidence.

This emotional burden can manifest as anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms like insomnia or fatigue.

When regrets become all-consuming, they prevent us from enjoying the present and focusing on the future.

They can hinder our relationships, career aspirations, and overall happiness. Breaking free from this cycle is crucial for our well-being and personal growth.

  Is getting over regret hard? Follow these 4 Steps        

1. Mourn Your Loss

It is never a good idea to shun your feelings.  In order to really let go of your core feelings, you have to completely feel them first. 

If you keep trying to hide away from them or don’t allow them to surface so you can deal with it, they will always be there waiting to emerge especially at times when you least expect them to.

Bottling up feelings of regret these feelings of regret eat away the joy from your life; eating away every potential of happiness because you’re not comfortable with yourself.

Those feelings are a part of you.  To be happy in yourself means that you have made peace with every that you have been through.

Without a doubt, I believe that you should never fight them. Let them come upon you for a moment and embrace, know how it feels deal with what it comes with, go in that feeling.

If you avoid it, it can make you depressed because there will

Always be guilt lingering at you. Dwell in your pain so you can heal.

After accessing, let it out through song, poetry, talking to someone or by just thinking to you. Go through your mistakes; see how each made you feel. If you feel like laughing at your so, laugh, if you feel like bawling your eyes out, go right ahead.

One of my regrets was not developing my talents or believing in my talents. So many people have said to me that I have talent but just needed to groom it some more.

I just focused on the negative, the fact that they said I need to groom, there was a fault and rather than looking than seeing that the talent, I saw the areas that weren’t so perfect. That had set me back for years. 

 For a long time, I tried justifying why I didn’t but the more I tried, the senseless they sounded. But it nagged me for years that I had talents that I’m making go to waste. 

It would ride my conscience especially when I saw people doing what I really loved.

I felt nagging feeling was always there. I would be depressed, feel worthless many times to the point where I would be depressed

I became conscious of how important time was and when I looked at how many times I wasted. I really felt terribly bad about it.

I had to acknowledged that I made a mistake and that it wasn’t too late

Guess what?                      

 After identifying, admitting and owning those feelings, I was able to feel free, it’s like those crying and feeling of disappointment freed me.  I had completely mourned and wallowed in blame and pity and now I’m free like a bird.

2. Forgive Yourself

Forgive and forget they often say. The real question is can one really forget what they’ve done or what has happened to them?

You can’t forget, even if you suppress the bad memories, anything can happen that triggers that memory. It will always be a part of you.

 Once you’ve understood the event, felt the emotions and accepted the event, you need too as make peace with what happened.

Understand that it’s beyond your controlled it has already happened and it’s time to move on with your life. It not an easy task, but you can do it. That’s what forgiving yourself means.

It’s a constant battle conflict between your inner thoughts– one voice jeering and condemning you and one voice, the conscience of the person you want to be.

Whenever the thought comes to jeer you and criticize you, you need to gather up the strength and say this:

“At the time, you did the best you knew. If you were more mature, more self-aware, and confident, you would have made a better decision, you would have done better. 

Many of the things we do in life are as a result of a lack of knowledge and maturity, you would have done better. If you had been capable of doing better, you would have done better.

You didn’t have all the knowledge and wisdom and maturity and strength and emotional intelligence and self-awareness that you have now. You did the best you could with what you had.”

Don’t ever compare yourself to others. Everyone’s journey in life is different. After all, we are our different, different beliefs, so naturally, your journey will be unique to you. It’s time to live to be the best version of yourself.

getting over regret
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 This is your unique journey alone. The starting point for one person’s journey is never the same as another person’s. You were born with your unique combination of personality traits and characteristics.

The gifts you have been given and the obstacles you have climbed over along the way are unique to you.

Your situation is never the same as another person. Where you are on your journey can never be compared to where someone else is on theirs, because your starting line was not the same.

In my life, the earlier years, I made a few mistakes, and although I was raised in a Christian home, was bit sheltered, in my naivety and rebellious mind have done things and said the thing that I regret now. the thing is  I didn’t know everything I know now.

I made decisions on my own. I was very argumentative and feisty. If you told me then I would be a coach or a motivational speaker.  I would have laughed at you.

It’s like I wanted to be someone out of expectation, not really driven wholeheartedly, because I toyed with the idea but for some time I thought wasn’t enough.

How would I have known my place would be on the internet, who would’ve thought that I’d use my experiences to let people know that there is hope after all.

Sometimes we have dreams and goals in life, and we allow some mistakes to discourage us and mislead us to think we have nothing to offer when we actually do. Do your thing, my friend.

Holding on to regret limits your growth if not prevent you from growing.

Forgive yourself, it about time you heal so you put yourself out there.

3. Focus on Changing the Future               

You can take positive action today irrespective of how long ago you’ve done things you regret. It’s never too late to turn a leaf in your life. Oh hell, it doesn’t even matter how grave the situation is.

This is life and so it makes room for you to make mistakes and grow. You can make amends with anyone who you have wronged. Don’t be afraid to be the bigger person. It doesn’t make you look weak.

What’s done is done. The past is the past. It’s impossible to change it.

 The bright side is that you have the whole future ahead of you. You can do a lot about the future.

Write down how you will handle a similar situation, and handle it differently next time.

This speaks to your subconscious mind that you have learned from the situation and if you had the tools you have now back then, things wouldn’t have worked out as they did.

You can then create a clear visualization in your mind of your new expectations, paint a picture of how you will treat that case should arise again. This is how we learn not to repeat mistakes.

Make a list of the things that you’re proud of and focus on that.               

4. Get support

Find a family or friend, a true confidant to whom you can share your past with persons who are very supportive of you.

In order to be your true self, you need to let them know what’s going on with you and how you feel. That’s the only way you can get healing.

Allow their positivity and encouragement to help you reinforce and steer you along the path of happiness.

There’s no way you can seek to get over your regrets, trying to find happiness and have negative, pessimistic people around you and expect to achieve much in life.

They will drag you down and drain what little energy that you’re trying to build up.

Emotions and attitude can be infectious, so ensure that you surround yourself with optimistic, happy, caring people who have your best interest at heart and want the best for you as well.

Getting over regret

Surround yourself with people who adds value to where you are planning to go.

When to Seek Help: Additional Resources for Dealing with Regret

If regret feels overwhelming or is significantly impacting your daily life and mental well-being, seeking professional help can be a game-changer.

Regret Therapy and Support Groups

Regret therapy, a specialized form of counseling, can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your feelings, challenge negative thoughts, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Therapists trained in this area can help you understand the root of your regret, process your emotions, and find ways to move forward.

Support groups, whether in-person or online, can also be incredibly beneficial.

Connecting with others who share similar experiences can help you feel less alone, offer valuable insights, and provide a sense of community and belonging.

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re struggling to cope with regret on your own.

This is a powerful tool to help carry you through when hurting.

 “The greatest sympathy gift you can give a hurting friend or loved one is you. Your presence, compassion, patience and caring are the greatest gifts you could ever give to help them get through a difficult time.” – Michelle Pommells

“We cannot choose to have a life free of hurt. But we can choose to be free, to escape the past, no matter what befalls us, and to embrace the possible.” – Edith Eva Eger

“There will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments and judge your soul. It is a fact that we all must face. However, if you realize that God is a best friend that stands beside you when others cast stones you will never be afraid, never feel worthless and never feel alone.”  – Shannon Alder

On A final Note

Regret is an inevitable part of the human experience, but it doesn’t have to dictate your future.

Getting over regret is possible by learning to accept your past mistakes with compassion, forgiving yourself, and extracting valuable lessons from those experiences. Remember, your worth isn’t defined by your past actions, and you have the power to shape a brighter future.

By embracing self-compassion, seeking support when needed, and focusing on the present moment, you can transform regret into a catalyst for growth.

Let go of the burden of yesterday and step confidently into today.

Do you hear me? Let it go. It happened and you can’t change it!!

Your journey toward a fulfilling and joyful life starts now.

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