build confidence and self-esteem

6 Effective Ways to Boost Confidence

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How to build self-confidence and self-esteem?


Why is it important to build confidence and self-esteem? Well, building self-confidence and self esteem is crucial because it affects every area of your life. People who have high self-confidence believe in themselves and their ability. They stand in their beliefs. They have a strong mindset and tend to do or say the right thing. It is important for you to know how to build self confidence and self-esteem.

Why people don’t feel confident though?

It could be due to things that have happened to you as a child. It could be disappointing encounters in public. It could be something someone has said to you.


6 ways to have more self confidence

Perhaps it is having negative people, non-ambitious people around you.

You speak to yourself so badly so often that you’ve gotten accustomed to it. it forms into a habit.

The beautiful thing is no matter how conformed you think you are, your attitude and behavior can be adjusted.

However, you may be asking what steps you can take to build self confidence and self-esteem?

 Understanding Self-Esteem and Confidence: Building Blocks for a Confident You

Self-esteem and confidence are often used interchangeably, but they play distinct roles in shaping our well-being and how we navigate the world.

What Are Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence?

Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself—your sense of self-worth and value.

Think of it as the foundation of your emotional house. It’s built on three key pillars:

  1. Self-acceptance: This is about embracing your flaws and imperfections, recognizing that they are part of what makes you unique and human. It’s about letting go of the need to be perfect and appreciating yourself as you are.
  2. Self-love: This involves treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding, just as you would a loved one. It’s about prioritizing your needs, setting healthy boundaries, and celebrating your successes.
  3. Self-worth: This is the deep-rooted belief in your inherent value and worthiness, regardless of your achievements or external validation. It’s about recognizing that you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness simply because you exist.

Self-confidence, on the other hand, is your belief in your ability to succeed in specific situations.

It’s that “I can do this” feeling that propels you to take on challenges, step outside your comfort zone, and pursue your goals.

While self-esteem is the foundation, self-confidence is the outward expression of that belief in yourself.


It’s the fuel that empowers you to take action and achieve your dreams.

Signs Your Self-Esteem Could Use a Boost

Low self-esteem can manifest in various ways, often subtly creeping into different aspects of your life.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards addressing and improving your self-worth:

  • Negative Self-Talk: Do you find yourself constantly criticizing your appearance, abilities, or decisions? Negative self-talk is a hallmark of low self-esteem, eroding your confidence and self-belief.

  • Self-Doubt and Fear of Failure: Do you hesitate to take on challenges or pursue your goals due to fear of failure or not being good enough? This self-doubt can prevent you from reaching your full potential.

  • Difficulty Accepting Compliments: When someone praises you, do you brush it off or downplay your achievements? This inability to accept positive feedback may stem from a deep-seated belief that you’re not worthy of praise.

  • People-Pleasing: Do you prioritize others’ needs and opinions over your own, even when it comes at your own expense? This can be a sign of low self-worth and a need for external validation.

  • Sensitivity to Criticism: Do you take feedback personally, even when it’s constructive? This hypersensitivity can stem from a fragile sense of self and a fear of judgment.

  • Comparing Yourself to Others: Do you constantly compare yourself to others, feeling inadequate or envious? This comparison game can fuel feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

  • Feeling Unworthy: Do you believe you don’t deserve good things or happiness? This feeling of unworthiness can lead to self-sabotage and prevent you from pursuing your dreams.

How to build self confidence and self-esteem

1. Stop comparing yourself to others negatively

Comparing yourself to others won’t do you any good. It brings about an insecure feeling. When you do this comparison, you tend to focus on the strongest point in the person’s life to what you consider low in your life.

Truly, that is only a piece of the picture. Sometimes if you know what happened behind closed doors.

The fact is you could be comparing yourself to something that doesn’t really exist or it wasn’t achieved legitimately. Instead of comparing yourself to other people, compare yourself to your own self.

What does this mean?

You should simply check your level of accomplishment. What have you done today that improves your life emotionally, physically, financially? You can’t ever be ideal. There has to be something to work on.

Monitor your successes. See how far you’ve come and what you’ve overcome.

Work on improving as a form of you. You are one of a kind.  Be happy, be consistent in your actions as you learn how to build self confidence and self-esteem.



2. Identify areas to build confidence and self-esteem


How would you like to be confident? In what area are you struggling to be confident is an important question to answer to know as that will let you know where to put your focus.

Make a list of these in order of importance or in order of which you’re struggling with the most. difficulty.  Saying that you’re not confident is too broad. You need to get down to the nitty-gritty. 

How do you want to grow? Be very detailed in how you build self confidence and self-esteem so you can identify with the results as you achieve them.

Do you want to hone your singing abilities? Do you want to stand, talk to an audience without stuttering? Are you struggling with expressing yourself?

You need to be sure about yourself and what needs working on, work on it.

For example, I wasn’t confident in speaking in front of crowd and speaking, I wouldn’t be sure of what to say or how to say, or even if I did, I just thought that something would go wrong and as a result, I wasn’t confident. It was obvious.

 I wanted to get over it so every chance I got  in front of the mirror and practiced.  I challenged myself to speak every chance I get in public; even though I was nervous until I improved. It still needs working because I haven’t yet mastered the art of public speaking but I’m doing much better.

Now, every opportunity you get to improve an area or become more confident, make use of it my friend.

Can you increase your skills in the areas you identify?  For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, or want to go in a particular area, find a coach who can help as well.  You could enroll in a course.  Get some practice and ask for (constructive) feedback and work it, work it. No one will make the effort to build self confidence and self-esteem like you do.



 3. Show sympathy towards yourself

Demonstrate empathy to yourself,

Try not to be so difficult on yourself, challenge any negative thoughts that seem to plague your mind.  Don’t dwell on it because if you do, it grows into something further damaging.

Sometimes we are even harder on ourselves than we are on other people.

Negative thought are going to pop up in your mind. You’re going to play over in your mind- things that you’ve done and events that have happened, it’s natural, but don’t be too hard yourself.

Appreciate the process; you have to make mistakes first to get it right. Pretending that the problem isn’t there or that everything will be smooth sailing is only deceptive and steals time that you can’t regain. Have you made mistakes. It’s not the end of the world. Get up, brush yourself off and move on.


build confidence and self esteem

4. Quit looking for validation

Why have people become so obsessed with seeking approval from people? You need to stop care about what people have to say. 

Living to get approval from people will make you miserable. You can’t live in peace. You’re constantly trying to change to please people. It’s too exhausting ( ooh gosh!). Today you’re this; tomorrow you’re that, the day after tomorrow you’re something else. Why?

Just to get validation from people.


ways to build self confidence and self esteem

What good does that  do you? The time you take to try to fit in and seek approval, you could be living your own life for you.   When you consider exploring how to build confidence and self-esteem,  you need to make use of time. 

Time lost can’t be regained. The time you take to please people you could be growing into what you really want, develop some gifts that you have. It’s okay to spend some time alone and discover something amazing about you.

You are uniquely made by God in his image and likeness. 

You are astounding.  Have enough confidence for yourself. You don’t need approval to build confidence and self-esteem.

In my very own case, I frequently sought approval from people after doing something.

If someone said I didn’t do something good I’d value it more than my own opinion, even if I did my best. 

 I  asked what people thought and their answers would determine if I do it or not even it was something I really wanted to do.

Now is not the time to live to please people. It’s time to live your life.

You must believe in yourself and whatever you want to be. No one has to approve it. You need to value your own and stop being obsessed with people opinion of you.


5. Jump at it

A vital way to build confidence  and self-esteem is to practice, practice, and practice until you get it right.

Public speaking used to make me really nervous, and for someone who wanted to be a motivational speaker, you’d think I would grab for this opportunity but I did the opposite, I would shy away from it.

There came a time I had to do a presentation. I would shake so hard even the paper started shaking. My words jumbled. I was noticeably uncomfortable and a wreck. I swore I would never do it again until I later realized that to overcome it. I just had to jump at every chance I get.

Even when I was nervous, I try to channel the negative feeling and nervousness to positive behavior and gestures.   The more I did it, I eventually kept my composure, and I became better at it.

That’s what you should do my friend just do it, don’t overthink it.


 6. Find a positive environment and optimistic people

It is important to know that as you seek to build confidence and self-esteem, you should shun negative people from your life.

A pessimistic attitude can be dangerous. Firstly, it’s contagious, no matter how you think you can be optimistic around negative people. That’s highly unlikely to happen. Have an optimistic mind. There is power in  an optimistic attitude.

If you find yourself in a negative space respectively dismiss
yourself from them.  It’s time you look out for yourself.

 Try not to condemn or grumble. If you want to be confident surround yourself with like-minded people, confident behavior, goal-driven, highly motivated so that this attitude and behavior can have a spillover effect on you.



You need to take charge and be confident.


Building Confidence and Self-Esteem in Adults

Life’s ups and downs can take a toll on self-esteem, particularly in adulthood.

Career setbacks, relationship issues, or personal failures can leave you feeling inadequate and questioning your worth.

But it’s never too late to rebuild your confidence.

 Tips for Adults:

  • Reframe Setbacks: Instead of dwelling on failures, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Analyze what went wrong, take responsibility, and use it as a springboard for improvement.
  • Practice Self-Affirmation: Counteract negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths, past successes, and unique qualities.
  • Set Achievable Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. Achieving these milestones will boost your confidence and motivation.
  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support and guidance. Talking about your challenges can help you gain perspective and develop coping strategies.
  • Invest in Self-Care: Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques can all contribute to improved self-esteem.

On A Final Note

Don’t wait to embark on your self-esteem and confidence adventure – it’s the key to unlocking a happier and more fulfilling life.

Equip yourself with these 10 powerful strategies, and you’ll witness a remarkable transformation into a more empowered, healthier, and joyful you. Remember, building self-esteem is a lifelong voyage, not a quick fix. Embrace patience, celebrate each milestone, and view challenges as opportunities for learning and growth.

For an extra boost on your self-esteem voyage, consider exploring self-help books, articles, or online communities focused on self-esteem and personal development. Remember, you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness – and investing in yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You deserve to feel confident and empowered, so chart your course on this adventure today!

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