Take control of your social life, learn ways to get over social anxiety.
Social anxiety is the point at which you feel restless, troubled or painfully awkward in social circumstances because you’re worried about people passing judgment on you.
Everyone at some point in their life feels a little nervous when around people, especially when meeting them for the first time.
However, it becomes an issue when it hinders significant things throughout your life. For example, you don’t perform your best at school because if you do, you will be awarded, people will look at you.
You may be required to give a presentation, but you don’t want to be the center of attention so you downplay your abilities.
Social anxiety is one of the most well-known mental health conditions in the United States which affects 15 million adult Americans every year. As indicated by the National Institute of Mental Health.
The root of social anxiety is being fearful of being scrutinized or embarrassed in public. You tend to think that people are going to look at you poorly. You just think that everything could go wrong and because of that you shy away from social events.
Regardless of how painfully shy you might be and regardless of how terrible you feel, you can figure out how to reclaim your social life.
Signs and symptoms of social anxiety disorder.
Being generally shy or nervous doesn’t mean that you have a social anxiety disorder. It is quite natural to feel a little nervousness. As long as it doesn’t affect how you cope and function.
However, social anxiety disorder affects how you function daily, on the other hand.
It’s normal to get the nerves before giving a speech but when you constantly avoid social interactions to the point you are always indoors, you don’t go anywhere much, you always find excuses to not do something that involves being in front of a crowd then social anxiety disorder.
I used to suffer from social anxiety.
I never liked the public, I always thought that I will be judged criticized, not liked and as such, I would avoid a lot of social events. In university, I hated group presentation so I wouldn’t have to talk to anybody.
I was afraid to look at people in their eyes because I thought they would see how insecure I was. My words would stutter. I would shake so hard that the paper I’m holding falls out of my hand. It was crazy I tell you.
Things started to change in the last year of university. Where I realized I was about to go in into the working world and for me to advance my career, things had to change.
Wondering if you suffer from social anxiety?
If any of these applies to you social anxiety affects you.
EMOTIONAL SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY
Behavioral signs and symptoms:
Avoiding social situations such as group participation, teamwork.
In an attempt to avoid being noticed remaining quiet or hiding in the interaction, always wanting to bring a friend with you to events.
Let dive into how to get over social anxiety.
HOW TO GET OVER SOCIAL ANXIETY
1: IDENTIFY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
It might appear as though there’s nothing you can do about the indications of social uneasiness issues or social fear. However, there are numerous things that can help.
The initial step is testing your mindset. People who suffer from Social anxiety tend to have negative thoughts that contribute to anxiety.
They think lowly of themselves. They think thoughts such as “it doesn’t make sense I try”,” People are going to find me ridiculous”, “I’m not bold enough and they will see right through me.”
“I’m not an exciting person so people will not like me” Thoughts like these if you let it consume you will render you powerless. You need to shift it. By challenging these negative thoughts it actually reduces social anxiety.
2: CHALLENGE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
After you’ve identified them, ask yourself how you are so sure these thoughts are valid?
If I am not exciting, how am I not sure that people will look beyond and like my personality as it is?
What makes you so sure that when you try something people are going to find you ridiculous?
When you question these thoughts you can replace these negative thoughts with positive. It causes a shift in how you look at which context you find yourself socially.
You need to stop guessing or think you know what others are thinking. Even if you are thinking a negative thought, what makes you think that the thought that you have of yourself is what people are actually thinking of you?
Just as how thinks could go wrong, things could go well. You are not yet in the situation but you think that that you are going to a good job. You need to change those negative thoughts my friend.
Stop blowing things out of proportion and stop anticipating things like “I’m going to be nervous, I will sweat and stutter over my words and people will laugh at me.”
So what if that happens? Everyone has been there and understands that it is a part of life. It’s not as bad as your mind is leading you to believe.
3: GET OVER SOCIAL ANXIETY-FOCUS ON OTHERS, NOT YOURSELF
When you find yourself in a situation that requires you to be socially involved don’t get overwhelmed, don’t overthink it. That is where social anxiety creeps in.
You feel a little timid but then you convinced yourself that people are looking down on you and judging you.
Don’t feed into these feelings. It is okay to feel have that feeling but don’t let it get the better of you.
It takes away from what you’re capable of doing. If you focus on what could possibly go wrong then things will go wrong.
Try focusing on doing your best at all times. People don’t read too much into your nervousness.
People are actually more understanding. When you make a mistake It only becomes an issue when you highlight it.
When you are about to do something, look at the joy and value that others will get from it. Don’t think about the little nerves that you feel.
Concentrating on your nerves makes you increasingly mindful of how anxious you’re feeling and affects your performance.
Keep in mind that tension isn’t as noticeable as you might think.
Truly tune in to what you have to share and how it will benefit the audience. What
you should be thinking about is how great you can make your presentation.
Consider how you need individuals to feel. Take the attention off you.
Focus on now, as opposed to stressing over what you’re going to say.
Think people, not you.
4: OVERCOME YOUR FEARS
To beat social anxiety, one of the most helpful things that you can do is to confront the social circumstances you fear as opposed to evading them. When you avoid it, it only makes social anxiety worse.
It may feel like it is doing a deal of good but it subtracts from the social elements that you need to function in the society.
You will learn how to act in these social situations by constantly avoiding that actually increases the social anxiety that you experience.
Everything starts with smalls steps so you might think that is hard to change but it’s possible.
It starts with little steps like going to social events and even just saying Hi, how are you” only. Over time, you start giving complement then you can perhaps how their day is going and over time, you will find going to social events and talking to people easy.
Don’t overthink. Just start in small proportions that you are comfortable with and build up from there.
Never get the feeling that you should take on big tasks at a given time.
If you do, you will be overwhelmed and be tempted to give. You are not used to it and for you to take it wholly it can be frustrating to and intimidating even more.
Practice small talks in the office with your colleagues , or at school with your classmates, sit with them, have lunch with them. This will improve your communication for a bigger social setting.
5: TRY TO BE MORE SOCIAL
Effectively searching for strong social settings is another powerful method for daring your feelings of fear and conquering beating social anxiety.
You can start going classes. Most of the courses that I’ve taken are online courses.
There are tons courses online that assist with overcoming social anxiety; many communication, leadership courses. You just have to out there.
You can volunteer in your field or areas that you’re passionate about. For example, I did a lot of volunteering at shelters doing personal development talks.
That is something I love and I’ve gone on many speaking engagements. I’ve developed the love for doing presentation so I lead many discussions at places that I’ve worked to build me socially and give me practice to engage with a crowd.
I’ve used one stone to kill two birds. I’m developing public speaking skills as well as social interaction skills. It does help to volunteer.
6: STOP BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF
People who are socially anxious tend to judge themselves harshly. They tend to find a problem with everything they do and criticize themselves.
You should stop beating up yourself. Give yourself credit for the efforts that you make so while you may not get the desired results, the fact that you’ve made and effort is something that you should appraise yourself for.
Every effort that you make is in itself already something worth being credited and praised for. It took so much courage for you to do. You’ve taken a bold step.
These little encouragements will motivate you to continue on that path to overcome social anxiety disorder.
No one’s perfect and everybody feels embarrassed at one point in their life. Overcoming social anxiety takes a lot of effort.
There will be times when you try to overcome social anxiety and feel like giving up but keep going at it. To be the best version of yourself, you have to be persistent and committed to overcoming your social anxiety.
Failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Simply take a minute and get over it.
Understanding who you are and what you want is crucial towards overcoming social anxiety. Don’t surrender whilst you’re having an awful day and feeling down.
You won’t overcome this challenge overnight. So even if you’ve made some progress and then find yourself going back to your old habits, be patient with yourself, don’t beat yourself up. It will get better in time
Practice these steps, get over social anxiety, and embrace the social elements of your life.
You are awesomely unique. Dare that social anxiety in your life; become a better you, live a better life.
