Getting Over Regret: 5 Qualities That Will Change Your Life

You know that feeling when you’re lying in bed at 2 a.m., and your brain decides to replay every choice you wish you could take back?

Yeah, I’ve been there too.

Maybe it’s the college major you picked just because everyone else was doing it. Maybe it’s the job offer you turned down because you didn’t think you were ready. Or maybe it’s something smaller — like the time you misread someone’s smile and made a complete fool of yourself.

Here’s what I’ve learned: getting over regret isn’t about erasing what happened. It’s about making peace with past choices and letting them teach you instead of torture you.

And trust me, it’s possible.

What Regret Really Means

Regret tells you something important about yourself. It shows you care about your decisions and the people around you.

But here’s the tricky part.

When you can’t stop replaying the past, regret becomes a prison. According to research published in Science, your brain’s orbitofrontal cortex — the part that handles decision-making and emotions — lights up when you experience regret, processing emotional pain the same way it processes physical pain.

That’s why it actually hurts. It’s not just in your head.

But if your mind can replay pain, it can also learn to reframe it. That’s where the psychology of regret becomes your friend, not your enemy.

How Faith Plays a Role in Getting Over Regret

The Bible doesn’t hide stories of people who messed up. Peter denied knowing Jesus three times. Paul spent years hurting the very people he’d later serve.

Yet God used them both in powerful ways.

That’s what grace does. It doesn’t pretend the past didn’t happen — it redeems it.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation. The old has gone, the new is here.”

You are not defined by what you did. You’re defined by who God says you are.

The Two Types of Regret You Need to Know

Most regrets fall into two categories, and I’ve experienced both.

Action Regret happens when you did something you wish you hadn’t. Think: sending that emotional text, quitting too soon, or saying yes when you should’ve said no.

Inaction Regret happens when you didn’t act and now wish you had. Think: not applying for the opportunity, staying silent when you had something to say, or letting fear decide for you.

Research from Tilburg University shows that inaction regrets often hurt more in the long run. Short-term regrets are usually about things we did, but long-term regrets come from the things we didn’t do.

I’ve known both types. And each one taught me something I needed to learn.

5 Qualities That Help You Rebuild After Bad Decisions

1. Self-Awareness: Own the Lesson, Not the Label

My first big regret came when I chose a random degree just to fit in. Everyone at church was heading to university, and I didn’t want to be left behind.

So I picked a program I had no passion for — just so I could say I was “doing something.”

Years later, I couldn’t land a job in that field. I watched friends move forward while I stayed stuck, wondering if I’d ruined everything.

But that season taught me something no classroom could: never make choices for applause. Choose alignment, not approval.

Self-awareness helped me stop blaming myself and start understanding myself. When you can look back and see why you made a choice, the sting starts to fade.

You begin to rebuild after bad decisions by learning what not to repeat.

2. Courage: Face What You’ve Been Avoiding

My second regret was about missed opportunities. Doors opened — invitations to apply, projects to join, connections to make.

But I didn’t move.

I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. I told myself I’d fail anyway, so why try?

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t lazy. I was scared — scared of rejection, scared of being seen, scared of not living up to the version of myself I thought people expected.

But fear doesn’t protect you. It just keeps you frozen.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the decision to move forward anyway.

When I finally started saying yes to new chances, I learned that confidence grows in motion, not in waiting. If fear has been holding you back, learning to move past it can be the turning point you’ve been waiting for.

3. Humility and Humor: Learn to Laugh and Let Go

Ah, this one still makes me smile.

There was a girl once. She smiled at me, said hi, and I — being a bit too confident in my assumptions — thought she liked me.

So I tried to tell her how I felt.

Let’s just say it didn’t go the way I hoped.

At that moment, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I replayed that embarrassment for weeks, thinking, “Why did I even say anything?”

Now I look back and laugh.

That moment taught me that not every smile means something. It also taught me to slow down, observe, and let things unfold instead of rushing ahead.

Humility and humor can heal faster than denial ever could. Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept yourself again, cringe and all.

4. Faith: Believe That Nothing Is Wasted

When I think about those regrets — the degree, the missed chances, the awkward confession — I used to wish I could erase them all.

But now I see how each one shaped me.

Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for good to those who love God.” All things. Not some.

Even the choices that made you question yourself. Even the times you thought you’d fallen too far behind.

God has a way of using everything for purpose — your mistakes, your missteps, your moments of misunderstanding. Faith teaches you that regret isn’t the end of your story. It’s part of growth through regret.

When you see life through that lens, every “wrong turn” becomes preparation.

5. Gratitude: Focus on What Still Can Be

Regret keeps your eyes on what you lost. Gratitude helps you see what remains.

When I started thanking God for the lessons instead of resenting the moments, everything shifted. I stopped asking “Why me?” and started saying “Thank You for what You taught me.”

That’s the power of gratitude. It transforms how you see the past and strengthens your faith for the future.

According to Psychology Today, practicing gratitude literally changes your brain, helping you turn painful memories into meaningful ones.

If you’re ready to focus forward, starting fresh with new intentions can help you release guilt and step into what’s next.

How Faith Changes the Way You See Regret

Faith changes everything.

It tells you that no mistake is permanent. It reminds you that God’s grace is still greater than your biggest “what if.”

When I surrendered my regrets to Him, peace followed. Not because everything suddenly made sense, but because I stopped trying to make sense of everything.

When you invite God into your pain, He turns regret into revelation. He turns the moments you wish you could forget into the wisdom you now share.

This is how rethinking past choices becomes an act of worship, not punishment.

Practical Ways to Stop Replaying the Past

Here’s what’s helped me, and it might help you too.

Pray honestly. God already knows what’s on your heart. Talk to Him like you would a trusted friend.

Journal your healing. Writing helps you track your growth and see how far you’ve come. Try using prompts designed for mental clarity to guide your thoughts.

Forgive yourself daily. Healing isn’t one-and-done. It’s ongoing, and some days you’ll need to remind yourself all over again that you’re human.

Replace guilt with grace. Speak affirmations that lift you up instead of tearing you down. Words that build self-discipline can reshape how you talk to yourself.

Focus on growth, not grief. Every step forward counts, even the small ones. Moral repair happens one decision at a time.

If Regret Still Shows Up

Even after healing, memories can resurface. You might be reminded of what went wrong or what could’ve been.

Don’t see that as failure. See it as feedback.

It means your heart is still alive, still learning, still growing. When regret knocks, greet it with grace — then show it the door.

You can’t stop memories from visiting, but you can stop them from moving in. This is staying present in action.

How to Build a Life You Won’t Regret

The goal isn’t to avoid mistakes. It’s to live in such a way that even your mistakes make sense later.

Choose courage over comfort. Act in faith, not fear.

Say what needs to be said when it matters. Let your values guide your yes and no.

And always remember: your worth doesn’t depend on your wins. If you ever forget how loved you are, reminding yourself of God’s truth can bring you back to center.

What Brain Science Says About Regret

Understanding the neuroscience of regret can actually help you heal faster. Research shows that the brain processes regret through a network involving memory, emotion, and decision-making.

When you learn cognitive reframing of regret, you’re not just thinking positive thoughts. You’re literally rewiring how your brain responds to the past.

Studies published in Frontiers in Psychology found that people who practice self-compassion after mistakes bounce back faster and make better future decisions.

That means being kind to yourself isn’t just nice — it’s smart. It’s how you turn regret into wisdom instead of shame.

Final Thoughts on Getting Over Regret

Getting over regret isn’t about deleting your past. It’s about finally seeing it through God’s grace.

The degree you wish you hadn’t chosen? It taught you discernment.

The chances you didn’t take? They taught you courage.

The awkward moment that made you want to disappear? It taught you humility.

Your story isn’t ruined. It’s being rewritten.

So lift your head, my friend. You’re not the sum of your regrets. You’re the result of your resilience.

Every step forward, every act of faith, every moment of gratitude is proof — you’re healing. God hasn’t forgotten you.

He’s just getting started.